Children are simple yet complex human beings. They may be able to talk, ask for food, or ask to go outside, but they still lack the ability to communicate things and feelings they don’t understand. Heck even some adults have this problem!

When kids (babies, toddlers, preschoolers) can’t communicate what they don’t understand, their body dictates for them on their behalf.

Problem is, they can never understand if we don’t understand either. And then what happens? They grow up to be adults who struggle when their body signals to them urging for “more of this” and “less of that”.

Regardless, all parents should learn about sensory processing so they can better understand their children’s behaviours – or as some would call, misbehaviors. And of course, all parents should contact their doctor if they have any concerns about their child rather than diagnosing them theirselves as they could be missing something bigger.

So let’s talk about SPD.

Anyone can have Sensory Processing Disorder. The name can sound scary as many fear a title that ends with “disorder”. But SPD can be very deceiving, as parents typically see the symptoms as an issue with the child’s behaviour and discipline – and not as symptoms of sensory input and output struggles.

Any child, any human being actually, processes sensory input and output. Kids and babies are especially sensitive to this because, well, everything is developing still.
They don’t necessarily have to have a disorder, per se, to be reacting to their sensory input and output. However, any child that’s more sensitive than others and are more active than others will show signs of under or over stimulation more easily than the rest.

The reality is that any child will start getting restless or irritated from under or over stimulation in one or all of the 8 (not 5) areas of their sensory inputs. Any child can have sensory processing struggles without it being a disorder. Its the degree and frequency of the struggles that determines that its an actual disorder.

The eight areas of sensory input:

• Visual
• Auditory
• Tactile
• Olfactory
• Gustatory
• Vestibular
• Proprioception
• Interoception

For more information about identifying sensory under and over stimulation, I highly recommend the book, “Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Signals” and “Understanding Your Baby’s Sensory Signals”, both by Angie Voss, OTR.

Parenting kids, Seriously, Parenting Yourself, Seriously, Voice boxing it

Emotional Dysregulation And Invalidating Environments

April 12, 2020April 12, 2020 K.S.

Emotional vulnerability is emotional sensitivity, emotional reactivity, and a slow return to emotional baseline.
(Linehan 1993a)

An invalidating environment is when people/parents tell you you’re wrong for experiencing your emotions. They may even punish you or ignore you when you get emotional. In some cases, people may acknowledge your emotions, but in a case where they are the ones causing them, they will not stop and instead keep doing what they’re doing to hurt you.

Another example of an invalidating environment, is when you are punished for being defensive or reacting in a defensive or emotional way during a conversation or argument. For example, if someone does or says something and you tell them that’s not fair to you or that what they have done has hurt you and their response is ‘waah, it’s all about you isn’t’, then in turn you get defensive and upset because they didn’t care how you felt, and finally their response is ‘i’m not your emotional punching bag’.

This will make anyone go crazy.

Now put someone like a child a who naturally is emotionally dysregulated and its adults jobs to guide them into regulation.

Invalidating children and any adult plants a seed of mental distress and disorders; that over time, without help and WITH persistent unhelpful invalidating environments, blossom into a plethora of mental and emotional struggles.

Parenting kids, Seriously

WTF Is Montessori?

February 11, 2020February 26, 2020 K.S.

It is a methodology of child rearing and education founded and studied by Maria Montessori. It started with the study of children with special needs, and once it was observed just how well they thrived, it was then studied on all children (not just those with special needs). Again, they all thrived exceedingly well compared to normal upbringing styles, and she went on to teach and watch children while sharing her knowledge with the world.

I’ll break it down into a few simple, commonly used sentences in the Montessori community to explain what it ACTUALLY is;

• Follow the child within safe boundaries. (Metaphorically)

• Have children exposed to open, organized spaces with minimal clutter and toys, or other distractions while introducing practical life activities.

• That way the children learn to follow their natural learning insticts and not the ones generations ‘decided on for them’. I.e., ‘ play with this, stay in this area, you can’t do that yet’